Poetry and Prose

My lover's eyes

They guide my hands

Telling them

In some secret lustful language

Where to go

And when my lover's eyes close

And words come in moans

Our loving now complete

But desire only grows

This is not a famous poem. I wrote it myself by way of demonstration. My goal here was not to just tell a story, but evoke emotion by use of particular words.

When you read a story, do you look for a rhythm in the words? Do you like to get a sense the author gave some thought to how the words were placed in the story?

I like to incorporate special words in my stories that do more than just provide narrative and dialogue. I like to use words that evoke emotion. I feel words have within them, a color, a smell, a feeling when said out loud or within one's mind.

Next time you read a story, or one of my stories, in particular, see if you can tell where the author used specific words to evoke emotion.

I find word choice extremely important in fantasy and erotica. In fantasy, I pepper my stories with words that I hope give the reader a sense of place and atmosphere. Dark words for those dense forest lands. In erotica, I feel that word choice is the greatest and also the most difficult.

Look again at the poem above. I know it may not be the most professional piece of work, but I wrote it using specific words to evoke emotion. I even used alliteration and loose, or non-rhyming words on purpose to make the reader stumble, forcing them to think back to the previous phrase or sentence.

My challenge to you as a reader is to look for these patterns in the stories you read. It is, after all, the choice of words, and the emotions they provide, that give a story that little extra magic that makes a reader think "that's a great story" even if they cannot pinpoint why they feel that way.

WIP Wednesday

Presented today is the last scene in the first chapter of my, as of yet, untitled work in progress. Alexis is leaving Ellijay, wondering, for the first time in her life, if she'll ever return. She loves the town. She loves her family. It is Leonidas, she cannot take.

Leo, along with her own family, still hold to old-fashioned beliefs that she sees as gender-biased, and unfair. After all, she's been to college. She knows how the current society functions, and she firmly believes she could safely live among regular humans. Who knows, she might even be able to carve out a normal life.

Alexis looked out the window of the taxi, more to hide her face then look at scenery. She wondered if Leo had left a mark on her throat, and tried to look at her reflection in the glass. She only saw the North Georgia Medical Center as the taxi sped along Main Street. She turned to look out the left window as they drove past the Gilmer County fairgrounds, her anger and hurt still making her cheeks burn, as she remembered the first time Leo had shown his true nature. She was just eight years old and at the county fair with her parents. She remembered it as a time when everything was true and innocent, a time when she still enjoyed her secret identity, and felt like she was a kind of superhero, hiding her powers from the normal, unassuming humans. That was, until Leo found her waiting in a line at the fairgrounds, threw her to the ground, and took the money her parents gave her for ice cream. He beat her up on many more occasions as they grew up, and there were rumors he did much worse to some of the other girls in the pack.

Alexis finally began to relax as the taxi crossed the bridge over the Coosawattee river, where Main Street turned into state road five, and the little town of Ellijay gave way to the great expanse of farmland and wilderness. The sun hovered low in the sky, harsh light coming through the front windshield forcing the taxi driver to flip his visor down, and Alexis to look blindly out her window into the blur of trees and fields. She wasn't sure where she was going to go, or when, if ever, she would return to Ellijay, but just getting away was good enough for now.

By the time Alexis saw the sign announcing she had reached the Resaca city limit, the sun had disappeared below the horizon. The meter attached to the dash of the taxi was already above ninety dollars as the taxi driver made a right turn onto Dixie road, leaving Resaca behind for more fields and wilderness.

"Looks like you're in luck," the taxi driver said as he turned the car left into the parking lot of a Pilot Travel Center truck stop, seemingly grown out of nowhere. He pointed in the general direction of a large McDonald's parking lot. A few cars stood silent in the parking lot, along with a big Greyhound bus.

"Is that the bus to Atlanta?" Alexis said.

"Gotta be," the driver said. "It’s the only bus leaves out of here. It only runs twice a week, from here to Atlanta."

Alexis shoved her credit card forward before the taxi even made a complete stop; worried the bus might pull away any second. She didn’t care how much the ride cost. At this point, she was willing to max out her parent's credit card to get away from the oppression of Ellijay, her pack, and Leo. She looked over at the bus and saw a line of passengers forming by the door. She snatched the card out of the driver's hand, tossed a twenty-dollar bill to the front with a quick thank you, and was on her way to the bus by the time the doors opened, allowing the customers to board. The driver was standing outside the doors checking passengers for tickets. She pushed through the twelve or so passengers to ask the driver where she could buy a ticket.

"Go to that big building behind the McDonald's," he said, as he pointed to a building that looked like a garage in the middle of the huge dirt parking lot.

"Thanks," Alexis said, as she turned on her heel and ran toward the building. She was careful not to run too fast. The last thing she needed was some stranger taking notice of someone running at an unnatural speed, and making a stink about it.

"Hurry up, though. I can't hold the bus very long," the driver yelled to her, as she ran toward the building, waving her credit card at the man in the window.

Alexis made it onto the bus and showed her ticket to the driver with a weak smile. She found a seat near the back of the bus and looked out the window into the darkness as the bus pulled onto the road, and almost immediately onto the on ramp of interstate seventy-five. She smiled to herself as the bus merged into traffic, and felt a weight slipping off her shoulders as she mentally left her old life behind. She had no idea what the future would bring, but it had to be better than the past. The darkness and the movement of the bus relaxed her, and she felt suddenly tired. She scooted down in her seat and let the swaying motion sooth her, until her eyes closed, and she drifted into sleep.

Hope you enjoyed this little excerpt. In the next chapter (posted here throughout the next several weeks) several new characters will be introduced, and more trouble will begin. As always, please feel free to post your comments, suggestions, bitches, or complaints. For your reading pleasure-enjoy.

WIP Wednesday

Post this week is the third scene in chapter one of my WiP with Joe and Lexi. In this scene, I introduce Leonidas's father, the ailing pack alpha. I also provide more insight into Leo's personality. I must state a warning here. Many readers will not like Leo. He is who he is, and make no excuses for him. Keep this in mind as the story progresses and Leo stays true to his personality.

Leonidas burst through the door of his father's bedroom. He did not bother to knock first, yelling as he walked, about the self-righteous brat, Alexis, but his father, sick, and in bed, barely moved.

"That Califan girl is an indignant prude." Leo flailed his arms as if attempting flight. "I just reminded her of our arranged mating and she nearly choked me to death, and ran off."

His father slowly raised his hand in an attempt to stop the rant. "My guess is that you were doing more than just reminding her of the arrangement." His father stopped to catch his breath before continuing. "If you cannot grow up, learn some humility, you will never be alpha in this pack."

"I'm grown up plenty. And, have I not proven my strength to you?"

"A strong will does not make a good leader, Leonidas. You must have some compassion for those you rule over." His father, exhausted, slumped back into his bed, but shook his head at Leo.

Leo couldn’t believe his father, on his deathbed, still spoke of humility. Leo feared a challenger to his rightful position more than he feared hatred by the peons in the pack.

"Compassion and humility are too easily mistaken for weakness," Leo said, as he turned to leave.

"Leonidas!" his father's voice, while weak and hoarse, still resounded off the walls of the room. "If you cannot learn that a leader's strength is shown through compassion, I cannot, in good conscience, have you succeed me."

Leo stopped dead in his tracks and turned around, ready to remind his father that he had only one son, but his father raised a finger and continued.

"All through your life I waited, hoping you would grow up and become the leader this pack needs." His father stopped to catch his breath. "But it simply did not happen. I'm afraid I will have to renounce the succession and let the pack choose a leader through challenge."

Leo cringed at the thought. His succession was all he had. He knew there were stronger men in the pack than him, and worst of all, many of them were feral—bastardized versions of Weres, not born into the life, but made by others through careless contact, or failed kills. He couldn't let that happen, He would simply have to appease his father until he became the rightful pack alpha. He turned to his father and put on the most humble face he could muster.

"What would you have me do, Father? How can I prove my growth to you? How can I show compassion and humility?" Leo looked at the floor as he spoke, afraid that looking his father directly in his eyes might reveal his true lack of compassion.

"What you should do is go find Alexis Califan, apologize profusely to her for your childish, self-centered actions, and beg her to come back."

"Will you bless our mating upon her return?"

"No! You've done enough damage in the Califan family." His father's short outburst caused him to go into a coughing and wheezing fit.

Even as the words left his father's mouth in weak sputters and abbreviated stops, Leo's mind burned with the thought that even his own father did not approve of his position as alpha. Before he could think of a proper response to the harsh words, his father broke in again.

"You will not be mated to Alexis. I've arranged a mating with a female Were-shifter from the pack in Montana. She's a natural, her family has good standing among our kind, and she's obedient."

"But, I don't want to be mated to some stranger," Leo said. "I want Alexis as a mate—

"Well, you can't have her," his father interrupted. "She doesn't want you, and she will defy your dominance, and your leadership." Leo's father sat up in the bed, his face red, and sweat beading on his forehead. "You will leave immediately to find Alexis. You will beg her to return, and you will accept the mate I've chosen. If you cannot muster the intestinal fortitude to do this, I will denounce your succession to alpha."

"Yes, father." Leo turned and stomped out of the room before his heated face and watery eyes defied the strong demeanor he was trying to present to his father. Truth was, he loved and respected his father, but found him oppressive and overbearing at the same time. He would do as his father told him, and find Alexis, but, if she just happened to find her demise before he could bring her back, the blame would not be on him. In his opinion, finding her was going to be easy. Still though, it was something best begun after a good night's sleep.

As always, feel free to comment and/or offer suggestions. I must announce now, that there will be scenes I do not post in the future. After all, I don't want to post my entire draft online and ruin it for all those (really 'both those') readers out there.

Enjoy, and please, comment if you feel so inclined.